Quite a few years ago, July 8th, 2013 to be precise, I came out with my first The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time. I got the idea from a guy who worked at one of the world’s leading instant noodle companies. He asked ‘you have top tens, why not a bottom ten?’ I weighed the idea carefully. I could really piss off a great deal of people with my list. But what the hell – I do that already with my top tens – people are always disagreeing, and that’s fine. Ten years later, it’s time for my tenth installment of The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles list. These are the worst (in my personal opinion) varieties I’ve ever had – mind you this is out of 4,400 reviews. Definitely not a list anyone wants to be on. What companies like I’m sure is when a product falls off the list and a new one gains my ire. This time it’s a horror show theme, done up with AI. Well, let’s check them all out – and remember, if you like some of these, that’s fine with me – just don’t expect me to eat them with you.
The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2023 Edition
A Special Video Presentation
A video presentation of The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of all Time 2023 Edition – and a warning; it’s not for the squeamish.
The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time 2023 Edition
#10: Acecook Fujicco Pure Tororo Konbu Soba – Japan
Where do I start. The noodles themselves weren’t bad; not my favorite but doable. However the broth and weird tofu looking stuff was just disgusting. I’m guessing the 20% it mentions on the lid refers to extra chance of vomiting. This was just…. No. Original review
#9: Nissin Donbei Simple Taste Somen – Japan
Sadly, this was absolutely terrible. There are varieties in this range which are just wonderful, however, this doesn’t fall into that category. The noodle was a kind of dry and stringy affair, paired with a broth that was a combo of yuzu (citrus) and fish (bonito). It was thin and just came together with the fine flavors of nightmares. Original review
#8: Yumei Lazy Noodle Sichuan Green Pepper Flavor – China
The latest to find itself on the bottom ten. This one looked neat – found it at a favorite shop up in Canada. Well as it turns out, green Sichuan pepper kind of reminds me of what I’m guessing spicy Pine-Sol would taste like. Just too much of a scent of public restroom for this reviewer Original review
#7: Panda Signature Ramen Noodle Soup Chili Lime Flavor – United States
A reader from Montana sent me a wide variety of this brand’s range. It replaced a popular brand at Walmart, and since I’ve done the unboxing video, people have been commenting abou their dislike. Well, some weren’t so bad, but this one really rubbed me the wrong way. It smelled like an air conditioned in a motel room that hadn’t been turned on in a year and tasted the same way. As for the spiciness, it wasn’t there. Not to my liking at all. Original review
#6: That’s Asia Pad Thai Sauce With Noodles – United States
The noodle was slightly mushy. The sauce was a very acidic and sickeningly sweet concoction. In short, this ain’t Asia. It also ain’t pad Thai by any stretch of the imagination. Original review
#5: Baijia Single Noble Black Bone Chicken Flavor Instant Sweet Potato Noodles – China
I was told by a guy from the company that this indeed was believed to be medicinal and helpful to women having their ‘time of the month.’ I’ve also been told by a reader that people generally don’t like black bone chicken soup even in China. Very slimy sweet potato noodles, thick, greasy broth and horrid veggies that didn’t hydrate well was just a flavor, texture, and complete food hole nightmare for me. This was just horrible stuff that I couldn’t stand. Original review
#4: Maruchan Bariuma Goboten Udon – Japan
Do you like earthy things? Like dirt? Maybe throw a ton of salt on it – does that do the trick for you? This one has just huge amount of burdock root. Burdock is great in small amounts, but this much just turns this variety into a bowl of something that just screams salty dirt. A full frontal assault on the taste buds that leaves me wondering if when they made this if they tasted it. Original review
#3: Dr. McDougall’s Vegan Pad Thai Noodle Soup – United States
Where do I begin. Well first off, when one in the United States thinks of Pad Thai, they think of what they might find at a Thai restaurant. Okay so the rice noodles came out nicely – short, flat and broad and well hydrated, but they’re short and cut like egg noodles.. Now for the broth. Thin. Nothing like pad thai. Has a little lime flavor and a kind of herbal taste. The floating bits of tofu are a lot like the marshmallows you get in the hot chocolate that comes with marshmallows. This is as far from pad thai as I can even express in words. It’s like someone gave a broken description of pad Thai to someone who has short term memory problems and no taste buds a week prior and told them to make it. I kind of feel personally violated and offended. Original review
#2: Simply Asia Singapore Street Noodles Classic Curry – United States
A nice looking package with the enticing words of ‘classic curry’ brings an image of something really special. This isn’t the case though. Rice noodles come out very mushy, but curry with slightly soggy noodles wouldn’t be so bad if it tasted like curry. Basically the flavor is a lot of lemongrass and strongly lacks authenticity. It’s like if you went to a restaurant, ordered some french fries, and they brought you a soda that said french fries on it. Just wrong on so many levels. Offensive in the highest – almost. Original review
#1: Annie Chun’s Japanese Style Yakisoba Noodle Bowl – United States
Yakisoba – a fried soba noodle, traditionally with a tangy sauce with tamarind notes, much like Worcestershire sauce. Well, this isn’t that. First, we have their ‘Hokkien’ style noodle. Hokkien noodles are usually egg noodles. These are your run of the mill pouch noodles much like udon except a thinner gauge. The flavor is mostly sugary with a little acidity. This bears as much resemblance to yakisoba as a grilled cheese sandwich – on wait – less resemblance as the grilled cheese is usually fried. To top it off, they recommend adding cilantro. Just a train wreck word salad that left me speechless. I thought the previous number one wouldn’t be pushed down, but this is so inauthentic on so many levels to merit it the worst of The Ramen Rater’s Bottom Ten Instant Noodles Of All Time. Shame! Original review
Special Announcements
The Return Of The Ramen Rater Diet
A few years back, I started a diet after my doc told me I should. So I did – lost 160lbs with a combo of walking and eating less. Well, after my mom died and getting COVID, I slacked off. Then I visited my doctor and started back up. Here you can see info on what I did and maybe it can help you too. By the way I tell you how I did it in the first 20 seconds.
Artificial Intelligence Meet Instant Noodles
I’ve been having a lot of fun creating images with Dall-E 2. I thought that maybe I could make some that could be useful for what I do, and sure enough, I could. Starting June 19th, 2023, the backgrounds I’m using (for the most part) have all been created using Dall-E 2 and different text prompts. It’s really neat having more of a hand in the backgrounds I use. I’ve even used them in concert with Adobe Photoshop Beta’s ‘Generative Fill’ feature. You’ll start seeing these new backgrounds in images I share soon and currently in the graphic and thumbnail for this top ten list.
A Petition To Benefit Those In Need
For the last few years, a thought has been bouncing around in my head. Why is there a spot to donate a dollar to elections on tax returns? I think that little spot can be better by donating a dollar or some set amount to Veterans who are living in poverty. At the end of tax season, the donations can go to all who qualify. I think that would be a good thing. I started a petition to do this, and if you’re in the USA, you can sign it here and please feel free to share it around! Thanks!
Definitive Guides
This year, I’ve decided to do a special series called Definitive Guides. Recipes, trivia, history, and more on some of the most loved and fascinating varieties of instant noodles around the world! So far, I’ve got one on Nongshim’s Shin Ramyun, and Indomie’s Mi Goreng and Nissin Foods’ Cup Noodles Pumpkin Spice! Future guides will include MAMA Tom Yum, and more. My plan is do feature one or two products from each country.
Ramen Junkies
Ramen Junkies is a Facebook group devoted to the love of instant noodles. People share their recipes, thoughts, ideas and humor Join the conversation today – over 70,000 members strong!
